"...there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen
It's a grey, rather somber kind of day here in northern Colorado. Rain appears to be threatening, and that would be a blessing in an all too dry state like Colorado. If the weather should stay this way for many days I start to feel really blue. I am completely solar-powered, as I like to joke. However, once in a while, a day like today gives me the space to be more quiet, introspective and to reflect on things a bit more deeply.
We have weathered through a pretty rough patch these last 5 months. We are just now starting to work our way back towards normal or maybe something even better (it will take time for sure). I always have hope for something better while fully appreciating a lot of the wonderful already in place. It's easy to forget all about that wonderful part when we go thought rough patches. Several years ago, I was introduced to a little book by a local author, Ilan Shamir, called Simple Wisdom: A thousand things went Right Today.It gives sweet reminders about how when usually one thing is going wrong in our lives, we often forget about all the many, many things going right. The one that always sticks with me is "my fork performed beautifully today"! I find myself saying that more often than not and it usually makes me chuckle to myself.
This hasn't been the first rough path we've weathered, and I'd love to think it will be our last, but there are no guarantees. I maybe am a little (or a lot) more grey -haired than I would have been had things gone smoothly all along, and I sometimes beat myself up for choices made even with the best of intentions (all the shoulda, woulda, couldas, that serve no real purpose). But to quote Oprah Winfrey, "what I know for sure" is that a whole lot of personal growth occurs in tough times if I allow the lessons to come and use a modicum of self-awareness in the process (in the meantime I have profusely thanked the universe for all the intensive learning and graciously asked to pass on future lessons-lol!). That's where the light comes in- the cracks in my judgement, my personality, my self-confidence, fears I harbor, the beliefs that no longer serve me that I cling to...so many cracks I should be lit up like a star-filled sky! I do welcome those enlightened moments when I get them. and try not to look back with regret for not seeing the light earlier. It's a process to be sure.